“For there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so” (Matt 19:12 GNT).
Friends, marriage is a gift of God and so is singleness. Not everybody is supposed to marry and probably there are many married people who were supposed not to have married. Jesus said “some are born not to marry; some are made not to marry; and yet some do not marry for the Kingdom business (Matt 19:12 paraphrased).
Apostle Paul said “I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who are not married and to widows – It’s better to stay unmarried. Just as I am”. (1 Cor 7: 7-8, GNT)
Why would a person stay unmarried? One reason that the Bible mentions is that a person who is single can give "undistracted devotion to the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:35). Being single means your attention is not divided between pleasing God and pleasing your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).
So does the Bible say that I can't marry? Absolutely not! Paul said, "If you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this" (1 Corinthians 7:28).
So therefore one –a Christian- has to thoroughly go inside him or her and seek the face of the Lord as to whether they have the gift to marry or stay single.
THE CHOICE OF A PARTNER
Bible says, "Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you." (Deuteronomy 7:3-4)
The same marriage principle applies in the New Testament. Believers are to marry only believers. This is because "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:39).
Let me add that a believer is someone who puts his complete faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; who has the Spirit of Christ Jesus living in him or her (1 John 5:12) and is changing to become more like Christ (1 John 2:3-6). This has nothing to do with denomination.
EXCUSES FOR DATING A NON-CHRISTIAN
You will often hear Christians giving justifications for dating or marrying an unbeliever. Here are some that I have heard:
• "Dating standards are different today."
• "I think he's open. Maybe I can witness on our dates." This is sometimes called "Missionary Dating."
• "He's not a Christian, but he's sure a nice guy."
• "He's more of a gentleman than most Christians I know."
• "He's come to our Christian fellowship several times."
• "I told him he had to be a Christian so he accepted Christ."
• "I became a Christian while we were already dating."
• "We have so much in common other than religion."
• "We don't plan to get serious."
• "I don't want him to think I'm a religious fanatic."
• "We're only young once."
• "He's got a few bad habits, but no one's perfect."
• "I know I should break up, but I don't want to hurt him."
• “They are the only unbelievers coming my way”
All of these are simply excuses for disobedience to God's commandments and His commandments are not meant to harm us, but to protect us from harm. We can trust Him, we can follow His decrees, and it will turn out good for us in the end.
W e shall continue on this topic if the Lord Jesus tarries.
God bless you!
#maranatha
Richard Adu Poku
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